This is how it should be
by dbzforever21
Summary: Gohan is in a lot of depression after the Cell games. He is going through many diffrent emotions with the loss of his father. Can his friends help him on the road to recovery? Or will he stay in the grasp of darkness?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey people! This is my first fanfic, so try to be nice please. As you can tell by my username, I am a HUGE DBZ lover. Just a little bit of info about me: I don't do Yaoi, Yuri, or lemons. No offense to any people who love these, but they're just nasty. Also, I am a big fan of odd couples. So in some stories I may not always use the canon couples. So anyway, on with the story!**

**I do NOT own DBZ. DBZ belongs to Akira Toriyama.**

Chapter 1

Son Gohan stood there, completely motionless. Horrifying images plagued his mind. The images brought burning tears to his eyes. He collapsed on his knees. "Why? Why did it have to come to this?" he asked himself. That one question bounced around in his head: _Why?_ All of the Z Fighters had witnessed it as well. Kuririn felt upset himself, but he thought that he couldn't even begin to imagine what Gohan felt. Piccolo wasn't shocked. His face was just like stone. "Just what I'd expect of you, Son Goku." he thought. And of course, while everyone else was mourning, Vegeta was the one that wasn't. "Curse you Kakarot. I was supposed to be the one to end Cell. Then you come in, show off, then kill yourself. And put all the blame on the brat. You're such an idiot." he thought. Gohan couldn't help it. He cried. They were real tears. Not just the average tears of a crying child; they were tears of true pain. Kuririn came to his side. "You did great, Gohan." he said softly.

"No. This is all wrong! I did this! This is all my fault! Cell, Dad, everything!" he said, more tears pouring down his face.

"Why are you putting the blame on yourself? Your father wanted this. He knew what he had to do." he said, putting a comforting hand on Gohan's shoulder.

"But... you mean... he wanted this?" he asked.

"Not to die, no. But he did want the world to be safe. And that was the only way. Now, get up. We should get to the Lookout. We need to summon the dragon." Kuririn said, trying to be realistic.

"Okay." Gohan said, fighting the urge to just run away. "Goodbye, Dad. I'll never let go." he whispered. Just before he was about to fly away, he heard that same evil, twisted, demonic laugh. Gohan froze in place. He slowly turned to see Cell standing, not harmed in any way. A yellow laser came from the puff of smoke, which passed everyone and went straight through Trunks. Gohan and everyone else turned in shock. Vegeta was the one the most shocked, the angriest. It was like a switch went on inside of him. A caring sense. Gohan whirled back around in anger, his hair firing back up to a Super Saiyan two.

"A very noble effort by your father, kid. But I'm afraid that not even a Super Saiyan can withstand perfection." Cell said.

"Oh really? I'm glad you're back. I'd give anything to do all of this over again, and now I finally get the chance to prove myself by destroying you. And this time, it's for my father." Gohan said, smirking in the same, cocky way that his father did it.

"Hmmm. This much power. It feels great. Before we continue this mess, I guess I owe enough to you to explain. You see, when your father took me to the Kai planet, I honestly thought I was finished. But a small particle in my skull survived. Call it a nucleus, if you will. The nucleus reproduced me, and in my perfect form. I also got some added power, and I picked up Son Goku's Instant Transmission ability, which explains how I got here so quickly. So, based off of how much power I gained, I'd say the chances of you winning are none." he explained, cracking his knuckles.

"I doubt you've gained anything serious. This fight will be over in five minutes tops. If I decide to let you live that long." Gohan growled in a low voice.

"Hmph. You're stubborn, just like your father."

That made Gohan flinch. His stubbornness caused this mess. If he'd only listened...

He snapped himself out of his thoughts and decided to start. He charged at Cell, powering up and going at him with everything he had. Just before Gohan tried to punch, Cell vanished. Gohan turned, then felt his ki right behind him, and then punched Cell before he could move again. Cell rubbed the side of his face, and he spat out blood, which continued to pour down out of his mouth. "Excellent. Now let's see how you fare against my true strength!" he snapped, and he landed a kick onto Gohan's side, which caused him to fall to the ground. Before Gohan could compose himself, Cell punched him straight in the face. The impact caused Gohan's face to bleed all over. "Now, after all of that talk, you can't defend yourself?" Cell retorted. "Pathetic." he said, then punched Gohan in the stomach. He felt like the breath in his body had been taken out of him. He clutched his aching stomach. That's when he began to feel weak, helpless. What could he do? As he thought more about it, what was the point? He caused his father's death, so he deserved to join him. But, should he doom the whole Earth because of something he caused? At that point, he missed his father so badly that he didn't care what happened to him or anyone else. He hung his head down. "I'm done." he said.

"What?" Cell asked, this time very curious.

"I'm done. What's the point in fighting you? At first, I was so angry. I wanted revenge so badly. But now, I realize that I'm the one that caused my father to do what he did. I deserve to join him." he said solemnly.

"Awwww, giving up already? That's a shame. I was really looking forward to seeing what you can do. Very well. If you're in such a hurry to meet your doom, then I certainly won't be the one to hold you back. Ka...me..." he began, charging a blue ball of energy in his hands. Suddenly, from behind, Vegeta came charging in. "Your blood will be on my hands by the time I'm done with you!" he snapped. He charged at him. Effortlessly, Cell swatted him away. Vegeta went flying behind Gohan, and he landed on the ground. "Now, to finish you off before you become a burden." Cell said, and he charged up a bright yellow ki blast. Just before it hit him, Gohan jumped in front of it, taking the hit directly on his arm, which broke it. The pain was worse than before. He slowly made his way back to the battle area. "Gohan, I'm... sorry." Vegeta choked. "Vegeta just apologized! He never apologizes! He must realize it's over too!" Gohan thought to himself.

"Just hurry up and do it already." Gohan urged. He closed his eyes. As Cell continued to charge it, Gohan heard a voice in his head. "Gohan? Gohan! Can you hear me?" the voice asked. That voice was none other than his father.

"Dad? Dad is that you? Where are you?" he rambled, relief covering his voice.

"Up here in Otherworld with King Kai." he said. Gohan's hopes of his father being alive were destroyed then.

"He's letting me talk to you telepathically. Anyways, why are you giving up? The whole world depends on you right now!" he urged.

"But Dad, there's no point in continuing on. I caused your death, so I deserve to join you. I wanted to get revenge, but I figured that that wasn't going to change the fact that you were still gone. Besides, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. My left arm hurts so bad that I can barely move it." Gohan explained, putting as much meaning into it as he could. He knew that this might be the last communication he'd have with his father forever.

"Gohan, that's not true. That sacrifice was not because of you. It was to save the world. But, apparently, things didn't work out that way. I know you're stronger than that. I know you have it in you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have trained you as hard as I did. You can do this." he reassured.

"But Dad! I'm not like you! I'm not a hero! I'm still the same, whiny baby I've always been!" he fired back.

"No son! You're not! You're still holding back! I know it! Let everything you're feeling take control! All the pain he's caused; the tears, the anger... let it all out! Avenge me!" he urged once more.

Gohan's eyes widened, and at that moment, it was like a fire had been ignited. His confidence was refueled, and the real rage of the Super Saiyan was finally being displayed. He placed both hands in front of him. He began to charge a Kamehameha wave as well. He charged it until he let it out. Everything that he was feeling was packed into it.

"Oh, finally getting back in the game, are we? Still, you are no match for me." Cell said, chuckling.

Gohan kept pushing forward, trying hard not to give in.

"I can feel you slipping away, boy!" Cell cried excitedly, feeling himself overpower Gohan.

"It's not enough son! You have to push yourself!" Goku's voice rang around Gohan.

"I'm trying! This is all I've got!" he said, trying not to let talking distract him.

"Gohan! If you're holding back because you're afraid Earth will take too much damage, don't worry! We can use the Dragon balls to fix it!" he said.

Gohan's eyes widened. Suddenly, he saw everyone rushing forward to help. Piccolo, Tien, Kuririn, and Yamcha were all firing ki blasts, trying to distract Cell so Gohan could overpower him. But it just wasn't enough. No one was strong enough to distract Cell. That is, until one final ki blast struck Cell. Both Gohan and Cell looked up to see Vegeta floating in the air, just after firing the Gallick gun.

"Gohan! Now!" Goku cried.

Gohan jumped on the chance, and finished it. The blue ki blast overpowered Cell's, and it went right through him, then completely obliterated him.

Cell was gone.

The screaming, the tears, the pain, all gone.

At least, for now.

**A/N: So, how was it? I'm not terrible, right? Just to let all of you know, I accept flames because I respect everyone's opinion, even if I don't agree with it. Anyway, reviews are appreciated!**

**~dbzforever21**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Man, coming up with ideas is hard. Oh well. Now I know to some people this may just seem like the Cell saga in written form. But that's not it AT ALL. It's about Gohan's recovery, and it ends on the day Goku comes back temporarily. So, yah. A summary in one sentence. Anyway, so I don't annoy you any longer, here is chapter 2!**

**I do NOT own DBZ.**

Chapter 2

Gohan breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes reverted to ebony and his hair back to black. He collapsed. He was so tired. No. Tired wasn't the word. Exhausted is more like it. "You did it!" Kuririn cheered excitedly. The Z Fighters crowded around him. "Excellent job Gohan. You defeated Cell and saved the world." Piccolo said proudly. Gohan smiled as he continued to breathe rapidly. The last thing he saw was the proud smiles of the Z fighters, for he then blacked out. They all looked in with worry, except Yamcha. "Don't worry guys, he's fine. He's just really tired." he said, picking him up. "Then we best get everyone to the Lookout." Piccolo suggested. They grabbed Trunks and 18 and began their way to the Lookout. However, Piccolo stayed behind.

"Piccolo! You coming?" Kuririn asked, clutching onto Android 18.

"Go on ahead. I'll catch up." he said. Kuririn shrugged and continued on his way to the Lookout.

"You look like you could use some help." he said to Vegeta. Vegeta turned to face him.

"Help? I don't take help from Nameks." he spat.

"Hmph. Very well then. Waste away here. I couldn't care less." he said coldly, then took off to catch up with the others. Vegeta looked up. "Curse you, Kakarot. You've taken away my will to fight. Now that you had to go play the hero, I have nothing to work for. You're such an idiot. You've taken away what I've worked so hard to get. You even got my son killed. I'm never going to fight again." he said. And with that, he took off.

Gohan awoke to find himself on the Lookout, with Dende smiling down on him. "Gohan! I'm glad you're okay!" he said.

"Dende?" he questioned. His eyes adjusted to his surroundings.

"I'm sorry about what happened to your father. I give you my condolences." he said.

Gohan remembered now. He'd thought because everyone was smiling and on the Lookout that everything was okay. But there was just one thing missing...

He decided that despite how he was feeling, he shouldn't bring that upon anyone.

"Don't be. He talked me through everything. He was there the whole time. He was so close I could have touched him." he briefly explained. Suddenly, Android 18's eyes flared open, and she jumped up in defense. "It's okay. You're among friends. We're not gonna hurt you." Kuririn said reassuringly. She looked around, confused still. "You should be begging on your knees to Kuririn. He carried you to safety after Cell puked you up." Piccolo stated coldly. Kuririn blushed. "It was nothing really! I couldn't just leave you out there! You know? Heh heh heh..." he rambled. Gohan, realizing something new and forgetting everything else, said "I know! Kuririn, you've got a big crush on Android 18!" And for his amazing discovery, he was rewarded a big lump on his head. "Way to go." Krillin grumbled. "Hmph. Don't think I'm gonna fall in love with you just because you saved me. But... it was nice of you. See ya." she said, then left. "Why I oughta send that hunk of junk to the Scrap yard!" Yamcha cried in anger. Tien rolled his eyes.**(A/N: Yes, all three of them.)** "Yeah. _You'll_ send that android to the scrap yard." he said out-loud.

"Oh. Well, I suppose we should summon the dragon." Dende said, hurrying over to the dragon balls. He hovered his hands over all seven of them, and they glowed. The sky grew dark, and the green mystical dragon arose.

"You have gathered the seven dragon balls. Speak your wish so I may return to my eternal slumber." the beast spoke.

"We wish for everyone who was killed by Cell to be brought back to life." Yamcha said, anticipation that Goku would return rising in his voice. Trunks and everyone else who was killed by the monster awoke.

"I can't sense his energy." Piccolo muttered quietly. He was the only one that could sense how Gohan was feeling. He felt that the least he could do is not make him feel worse.

"Hey Shenron, is there any way you can bring Goku back? Just this once? Please? If you could, we'd really appreciate it." Yamcha nearly begged.

"Impossible. The one called Goku has already been returned to this world. Speak another wish." Shenron told them. Gohan looked down in dismay. "Hey! What about the Namekian dragon balls? They have no limit on how many times a person can be brought back!" Dende suggested, his eyes lighting up.

"Of course!" Yamcha said. But just before he could speak, a voice rang in the sky.

"Hey! Don't _I_ get a say?" it asked, and everyone recognized it as that of Son Goku.

"Dad?" Gohan questioned.

"Hey son. I think it's nice that you're all trying to find ways to bring me back to life. But I think it'd be best if I stayed dead." he said, and everyone exchanged confused glances. "See, Bulma said something a while ago. She said I always attracted trouble. Even though she didn't mean it seriously, she was, in a way, right. Think about it: all the enemies that we've faced were after me. So, for the sake of the Earth, it'd be best if I stayed dead." he said.

"Goku! You've gotta be kidding! Who's going to protect the Earth?" Krillin asked with concern.

"Don't worry. Gohan can handle it. And, I know you and your Mom got the bad end of the deal, Gohan. But just because you can't see me with your eyes doesn't mean I'm not there. There's nothing left to teach you. You'll be fine." he reassured. "But Dad! That doesn't mean I don't need you! You're more than just a trainer! You're my Daddy!" he cried, breaking down once more, something he swore he'd never do in front of his father.

"Gohan, trust me: I have absolute faith in you. And when you need help, I'll always be there. I guess this is goodbye everyone. I'm sure our paths will cross soon one day. When you come to Otherworld, make sure to tell me all about your life, 'cause I wanna hear about them. Well, see ya!" he said happily, and he was gone. Gohan's eyes welled up with tears, but he blinked them away. He was stronger than that. He decided that the worst thing to do was think about it, so he decided to change the topic. "So Piccolo, are you gonna be living up here now?" he asked. "I suppose, if Mr. Popo doesn't throw a fit." he said, getting a chuckle out of Gohan. "Well, I better get outta here. You coming Kuririn?" Yamcha asked. "Yeah. I'll see you guys later." he said, then both of them took off. "I best be going as well. I've got some more training to do. Farewell to all of you." Tien said, and with that, he took off. "I better get home to my Mom." Trunks said, and took off as well. "I gotta get home so I can break the news to Mom. I'll see you later Piccolo. I promise I'll visit." Gohan said, and then took off.

Gohan saw his small mountain home take shape in the distance. He got closer, and he saw the TV outside, and the window broken. _"Oh, mother."_ he thought to himself. He knocked on the door. "No more than a second later, the door opened, and Chi-chi smiled bigger than she ever had, and smothered him."Oh Gohan! I'm so proud of you for killing that monster! And I'm so glad you're safe!" she rambled. "Where is your idiot excuse for a father? I'm going to knock him in the head for letting you participate in such a violent fight!" she snapped, getting her frying pan ready.

Gohan bit his tongue. "Well, you see, Mom, he's... um..." he stuttered. He just couldn't say it. If he told her, not only would he hurt her, but he'd hurt himself.

"Let me guess: He's going to be late, isn't he? This is just like last time, isn't it? Ugh... such an idiot!" she snapped bitterly.

"No Mom: He's gone. And he's not coming back." he said quickly.

Her eyes widened. She collapsed onto her knees and wept loudly on the floor.

"Its okay, Mom, really." Gohan said quietly. He couldn't say anything else. Anything else would make him cry. No, more like bawl his eyes out.

"No Gohan, honey. That's not why I'm crying." she said after about ten minutes of crying.

Gohan was puzzled. "Why, then?" he asked.

"Because: I'm carrying a fatherless baby."

**A/N: So, how am I doing so far? And, updates won't be every single day because I can't write that fast and I have a busy life. Next chapter will be up soon. In the mean time, review, review, review please!**

**~dbzforever21 **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This one is going to reveal some more of Gohan's emotions. Now I'm just going to say that this is my first fic so it may not be as good. But if you give it a chance and give my other ones a chance, then you might like it. No more hold up, let's get on with it.**

**I do NOT own DBZ. Akira Toriyama owns it.**

Chapter 3

Gohan nearly fell flat on his face. "Mom... you're pregnant?!" he asked with confusion. She got up.

"Yes sweetie. It was kind of an accident, but it's a wonderful thing." she said honestly.

Gohan thought seriously. _"If I'm gonna be an older brother, I'd better be a good one."_ he thought. "Hey Mom, what's the baby's name gonna be?" he asked, trying to take his mind off the subject.

"If it's a boy, Goten." she said.

"Why?" Gohan asked.

"When I was a little girl, I told myself that if I had a son, his name would be Goten." she explained.

Gohan sighed. So much had happened. It was hard for him to accept it all. He thought it was all a bad dream, and that at some point, he'd wake up from it. He'd wake up to his father, getting him up early to train. He'd come downstairs to his mother, who would scold him for training, then he would have breakfast. Sometimes, he even pinched himself to check if he was dreaming. But he knew that life was going to be much different. He knew that his father wasn't going to be there anymore. He knew his mother wouldn't be the same, for she would be going through tons of mood swings. He wanted to run away from it all. It was too much for him. He had to face facts: he was an emotional wreck. He went upstairs to his room. That felt like the only safe place. The place where he could be alone. He rummaged through his drawers until he pulled out a picture of his family. It was right before the Cell games, when they had went on that picnic. He thought it would make him feel better, but it only made him feel worse. A single tear streamed down his cheek and fell on it. He fell face first on his bed. _"Why did you have to do this? We got the short end of the stick? There was no stick to begin with."_ he thought. As he thought more about it, a realization he thought he would never face dawned on him._ "The benefit went to you. It wasn't because of protecting the Earth. It was because you wanted to train! Obviously we're not as important as your dumb training! Whenever something seems normal and family-like, you just have to ruin it by saying you have to train! I don't miss you anymore! I don't need too! I don't need you anymore! I was wrong before! I'm glad you're gone! I can take care of myself! And I'll take care of Goten too!"_ he thought. Upon thinking this, he realized he had went Super Saiyan. He powered down. He never thought he would rebel against his father before, but ever since he first went Super Saiyan, his temper had become much shorter. Suddenly, he passed out.

A few moments later, he awoke to find himself in a white void. It looked much like the Hyperbolic Time chamber. "Hello? Where am I?" he asked. Then, Piccolo appeared.

"Gohan, do you know where you are right now?" he asked abruptly.

"No! Where am I? I'm so confused!" he cried.

"I've tapped into your sub-conscious mind, and your sub-conscious form is here. Your physical form is still in your bedroom." he explained.

"Why?"

"Because your sub-conscious form is the emotional part of your body. I want to know why you're thinking these things." he said.

"The truth is, I'm not sure how I feel, Piccolo-sa. I want to feel upset. I am, but yet, I'm also angry. I'm angry that he didn't stay. I'm angry that he chose training over us. But yet, I'm also upset that he's gone. So many negative emotions are swirling around inside of me, I just don't know what to think or how to heal." Gohan said honestly.

"Gohan, your father did what he did to protect Earth, trust me. But, that doesn't mean he won't train. You have a right to feel what you are feeling. You and I both know he'll return some day. So please, don't be angry with him. It would ruin him." Piccolo said, trying to get Gohan to understand.

"But, Piccolo-sa, what he did... is unforgivable." he said.

"I understand. But you are a forgiving person, and you must find it within you to forgive him and let go."

"Piccolo-sa! I can't keep this bottled up! I'm hurt, angry, even... scared. So many indescribable feelings." he said.

"Don't you see? You must let go. The reason of your pain is because you won't let him go. You refuse to. No matter how many times you say you dislike him, or whatever, you miss him terribly. You must let him go. You still cling to him." Piccolo explained.

"But I can't! I don't have it in me. I just... can't."

"What kind of talk is that?"

"But how do I do it? How do I let go?

"That's for you to figure out. I suppose I'll let you sleep. Farewell for now, Gohan." he said, and in a flash, Piccolo was gone, the white void disappeared, and Gohan's sub-conscious body went back to his physical body.

He sat straight up, and breathed rapidly. Cold sweat beaded down his forehead. He had a terrible headache and his eyes were seriously bloodshot. He crept downstairs. He saw his mother asleep on the couch. He sat down by her. "Goten, Dad's gone. But that won't stop us from having a normal family. I'll be the father you need. I'll always be there for you. I wouldn't wish the pain of losing a father on anyone, and I'm not going to make you go through it." he whispered. He crept back upstairs and just barely fell asleep.

**A/N: This one was a lot shorter. Next chapter will just be more emotion. I will try to make it as non-boring as possible. After that, I'll get to Goten's birth. To be honest, I'm almost done. Just a few more chapters and I'll be done. Just to let ya'll know, my next one will be humorous, and not sad like this one. Reviews are apprecaited!**

**~dbzforever21**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I have recently been stuck on coming up with ideas. I need some inspiration. Anyways, I won't bore you any longer.**

**I do NOT own DBZ. It belongs to Akira Toriyama.**

Chapter 4

A rapid pounding on the door awoke Gohan. He tumbled down the stairs and opened it. Bulma was there, and she hugged him tightly. "Gohan! Why haven't you visited? I thought you would have come over since the whole Cell thing." she rambled. "I'm sorry Bulma. I was just trying to gather my thoughts, and trying figure all this out." he said, rubbing his eyes. "I understand Gohan. C'mon. I'll take you over to my place, and you can tell me there." she said. Gohan nodded and looked over to his mother who was still asleep. He jumped on the back of Bulma's motorcycle, and in a matter of five minutes, they were at Capsule Corp.

"So tell me, what's on your mind? You seem much more quiet." she said as she sat down on the couch.

"I've just been thinking about Dad." he said.

"You must miss him a lot."

"I'm not sure anymore."

"Huh?"

Gohan sat up. "I'm not sure what to feel. I'm angry, scared, upset, depressed, dismal, in dismay, every single emotion of pain you can think of. I know I sound like a drama queen, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I'm angry at him for leaving us for training, although I miss him terribly. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to let myself feel anything, so that way I won't have to live suffering." he said, tears leaving his eyes.

"Don't do that. You'll hurt more. Gohan, I understand. But, you need to move on. If Son-kun causes you that much pain, then it's obvious you just need to move on." she said.

"You don't think I've tried?" he snapped. "I'm sorry, I'm just so stressed. Especially because the new baby's coming..." he trailed.

"Your Mom's pregnant?! Oh my goodness! Gohan that's huge! Why would you hide something like that?" she asked like there was something wrong with him.

"So, Kakarot got his woman pregnant? Hmph. Figures. He gets his woman pregnant then dies. What a father figure." Vegeta interrupted, smirking proudly of his words.

"Believe me, I don't exactly agree with that either, but don't talk about him like that! Whether I love him or hate him, he's still my father!" Gohan snapped.

"Vegeta, please. Leave him alone." Bulma said.

"Oh please. I watched Frieza take out my father and I wasn't being such a drama queen." Vegeta said.

"Yes, but Son-kun was Gohan's best friend. They had a better relationship than you did with your father." Bulma explained.

"Hn." was all he said before he exited the room.

"I'm sorry about him Gohan. He's a jerk." Bulma apologized.

"It's fine. I really should be going. Thank you for your help." Gohan said as he got up to leave.

"Any time. Oh, and you know how Kuririn's birthday is coming up, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"We're all gonna try to plan a surprise party for him this weekend. Will you help?"

"Of course. I just gotta check with Mom. You know how she is about my studies, and I'm sure being pregnant won't change that." he said, chuckling a bit.

"Right. So, I'll call you with the details." she said.

"Alright. Thanks Bulma. See ya." he said, and he went on his way home.

When he came back, he found his mother was still asleep. He checked her pulse, just in case. She was fine, just very hot and sweaty. He took a cold rag and placed it over her forehead. Upon this, she woke up and sat up.

"Gohan?" she questioned.

"Yes mother?" he asked.

"Did you put this on my forehead?" she asked.

"Yes. You seemed really hot and sweaty, so I put that on your forehead to cool you down." he explained.

"Thank you sweetheart, you're a lifesaver. Oww!" she cried, clutching her stomach.

"Mom!" he cried, running over to her.

"Mom, you're already that far along?" he asked, noticing that she had a pretty big baby bump. She wasn't completely done, but close to it.

"Honey, after having you, I realized that Saiyan babies grow _much_ faster. Even though I've only been pregnant for a week, this is about a six month bump." she explained.

"Wow. So, I guess you'll be due soon, then." he said.

"Yes. Probably in the next week or two." she said.

"Mom, are you sure you can handle having another Saiyan baby?"

"If I could handle having you, then I can handle Goten." she said.

"It's a boy?"

"Yes. I just found out today."

"That's awesome! I'm going to have a little brother!" he cried. For the first time, something amazing was going to happen. Something he could be happy about.

"Oh, by the way, Kuririn's birthday is this weekend, and we're going to throw him a surprise party. Can I go?" he asked with anticipation.

"I suppose. But I'll go with you. Staying here won't make me feel any better." she said.

"Yes! Thank you Mom." he said happily.

"What's up with you? You seem like a two-faced person. One minute you're angry and upset and next minute you're feeling like it never happened." she asked.

"I know, Mom. I've been like that lately. The reason is because I've been trying hard to keep myself distracted. I don't want to feel like that, Mom. I don't." he said.

"I understand, sweetie." she said.

Right after that, the phone rang. Gohan answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Gohan! It's Bulma! I know what we're gonna do for Kuririn's birthday!

"Alright. So what are we gonna do?"

"We're going to have the party at Kame house. We'll call him over and say there's an emergency. Once he walks in, we'll yell "surprise!" then go from there. Sound good?" she asked.

"Yeah. What time do I need to get there?"

"Around one will be good."

"Alright. See ya then, Bulma."

"Bye Gohan." she said, then hung up.

"Was that Bulma?" Chi-chi asked.

"Yeah. She wants us there at one." he said.

"Gohan, I'm really hurting right now. Do you think you can manage to get dinner yourself?" she asked, lying down.

"Yes. I'll handle it. Want anything?"

"No. The mere thought of food makes me sick."

"Alright. You go on to bed. I'll take care of myself."

"Okay. Goodnight, and don't stay up too late."

"I won't." Gohan said quietly before his mother went to her bedroom.

But Gohan didn't make anything. He had no appetite. He curled up on the couch. _"Mom's right. I have been acting like a two-faced person. I need to get myself straight."_ he thought. He actually went to sleep that night, and didn't wake up from nightmares.

**A/N: I know this chapter sounded boring, but I'll get to the exciting stuff. The next chapter will be the birth of Goten. And, I added Krillin's birthday in there just to not make it too boring. Reviews are accepted and appreciated!**

**~dbzforever21 **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yes, I realize Gohan has been acting like a two-faced person. But I'm going to fix that. On with chapter 5!**

**I do NOT own DBZ. It belongs to Akira Toriyama.**

Chapter 5

Bloodcurdling screams awoke Gohan that morning. He ran upstairs to find his mother screaming in pain. "Mother!" he cried, rushing to her side.

"Gohan! We need to get to a hospital _now!_ The baby's coming!" she cried.

"He wasn't supposed to come for another week!"

"Change of plans! We need to go!" she cried.

He gently picked his mother up and flew as fast as possible to the hospital. "Help! My Mom's ready to deliver!" he cried.

Doctors rushed over to him and took her to a delivery room. He sat down in the waiting room, and cradled his head in his hands.

After an hour of screaming that made Gohan cringe, it was over. He banged on the door. The doctors finally let him in. He saw his mother, who was pale and out of breath. She held a little baby boy with a tail curled around his waist. It brought tears to his eyes. The baby boy looked exactly like Goku. The same wild black hair style with the same black eyes. "I already told them that I wanted his name to be Son Goten. The drugs didn't work. I felt everything." she said woozily.

"Mom are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes Gohan. Just tired. And in pain." she said.

There he was. Goten. Now, that was Gohan's soul reason for being alive. He bent down and picked him up. "I'll be the father for you, Goten. Not only am I filling the shoes of a warrior, I'm filling the shoes of a coward, who ran away from you." he said.

_"I think I've got it figured out. You abandoned us, you coward. You were the one who told me to be strong, and now you run away from me and Goten? And you leave me to face this? I'll never forgive you. You hurt me. You hurt Mom. You hurt Goten."_ he thought to himself in anger. As if reading his thoughts, Goten began to cry. He wasn't wailing, single tears were just streaming down his cheeks. Gohan wiped them away. "You don't need to cry. We don't need him. We're strong. We're Saiyans. The ultimate warriors. And Mom, she's the strongest human woman, probably even stronger than me or Dad. He can't hurt us anymore. And he won't hurt us again." he said to Goten, and Goten smiled.

Gohan took both of them back home. After Gohan had put Goten to bed, Chi-chi had asked Gohan to come sit with her.

"Gohan-chan, listen. I think it's time I start looking for a new husband." she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because: Goku's gone. And I don't know if he'll ever come back. And Goten-chan needs a father. I want him to grow up in a normal family. I want the best for him. I want the best for you too, but Goku's already rubbed off on you. I don't want any more training. I want a normal family where you two go to school, and there's no more "save the world" business." she explained.

"I understand Mom. No villains should be coming to Earth because Dad's gone. Go and get someone. You deserve better. We need to rebuild the family." he said. "

Alright. Now I'll probably be gone most of the time. Can you handle taking care of Goten-chan?" she asked.

"Yes. I can handle it." he said surely.

"Okay. Well, I guess I'll start tomorrow. I'm going to go take a nap. "

"Alright. I'll keep an eye on Goten."

"Thank you. Yell if you need me." she said.

Gohan ran up to his room. He locked the door. He squeezed his hand until he noticed it was bleeding profusely. He ripped off part of his gi and wrapped it around the wound, realizing he was hurting himself. He pulled out an old journal his mother had bought for him years ago. She had said that at some point he would need something to express his personal feelings in. Gohan insisted that he wouldn't need it, but apparently it didn't turn out like that. He wrote a letter. It was addressed to his father.

_Dear Father,_

_I still don't understand why you left. But I need you to know that you hurt me. You hurt Mom. She cries for you. And did you know you're a terrible father? You get my Mom pregnant, then leave the baby fatherless? Anyway, I suppose I shouldn't write down all that I'm feeling now. My brother's name is Son Goten. He is amazing, looks just like you, and is now my soul reason for living. Because you can't seem to hold the position of father, I'll play that role for him. But when he asks me, I'll tell him the honest truth. I'll tell him you were a coward and you ran away from him. Don't ask for my forgiveness, because you'll never get it. And when you come back, you'll find us to have moved on. Mom's already looking for a new husband. Goten will be in school and hanging out with friends. And me? Well, I'll be looking at you and saying I told you so. Don't get me wrong, I, deep down, am upset. But I'm stronger than that. I am not a weakling. I won't let myself feel the pain that you've brought. Continue your training in Otherworld. Don't bother coming back. We don't want you here. While you work on pointlessly training, we'll work on succeeding in life. May the beings and Gods of Otherworld treat you well. I hope you're happy with what you've done._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Gohan._

Gohan read it over and over again. He read it until his eyes began to hurt. He knew that this letter would never get to his father. Unless... _Baba?_

But... did he really mean what he said? He wasn't exactly sure if his hurtful words were 100% truthful. And, he'd never ever disrespected his father before. Did he want to start now? _"Why not? It's not like he'll ever come back. He'll never be able to punish me."_ he thought deviously. "Now, how do I call for Baba? Hmm... I guess I could have Master Roshi do it for me." he said out-loud. He called Kame house.

"Gohan? Is that you, my boy?" the turtle hermit asked, trying to put away his female hentai magazines.

"Yes. Can you do me a favor? Can you get Baba to deliver a message for me?" Gohan asked.

"Sure. What is it?" he asked.

"Umm... it's a letter to my Dad. I'd rather not say what it says." Gohan said.

"Oh okay. If you drop the letter off here then Baba will come and get it and deliver it to him." Roshi said.

"Okay. Will do. Bye." he said. He hung up then snuck out, tucking the letter in his pocket. He flew over there, letting the ocean breeze calm him, then slipped the letter under the door, then left. He crept back in the house, then fell asleep.

The next morning, Gohan woke to find that Goten was still asleep. He figured he was hungry, so he woke him up and fed him. When Gohan went into the kitchen, he found a note on the fridge.

_Gohan-_

_I left for my date. He seems like a nice guy. Take care of Goten for me. And don't go running off. Stay there so I know you're safe._

_ Love,_

_ Mom_

Gohan sighed as he set Goten down. Goten glared at him. "Dada?" he said. Gohan chuckled. "No. I'm not your father. But I'll play that role for you." he said quietly. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Gohan opened it to find Baba.

"Gohan. Your father has a message to give back. He says he doesn't understand why you're acting this way. He says that he knows that it must have hurt, but it was for the better." she said.

"Oh yeah? Tell him to take a guess." Gohan said sarcastically.

"Gohan, why are you behaving this way? Are you angry with him?" she asked.

"Of course I am. He ran away. From me. From Goten." he said.

"Gohan, you know that's not true. He did it for the sake of the Earth." she said.

"No! He promised! He said that no matter what, he wouldn't leave us for anything. But he lied to me. He left us for _training_!" he snapped.

"Gohan, I understand if you feel this way. But you must understand that this was not upon his decision completely. He felt he had to do what he did. As defender of Earth, when he has an opportunity to save the world, he can't just pass it up and let everyone die. I'll leave it at this: You have to think about others, Gohan." she said, and with that, she was gone. And there, Gohan was left alone with only a crying Goten and his thoughts.

**A/N: No, I'm not a Goku hater. In fact, he's my favorite character. I just thought that maybe Gohan might see it in a different perspective than it is portrayed in the show, and I wanted to make that perspective a possibility. Next chapter is Krillin's birthday party. As always, reviews are accepted and appreciated!**

**~dbzforever21**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy very late Thanksgiving everyone :p. I decided that I'd take a break for Thanksgiving. But, I'm back now. On to Chapter 6!**

Chapter 6

Goten's wailing woke up Gohan that morning. He looked over to the calendar to find that it was Saturday, and that Kuririn's birthday was today. He went to his mother's room, and gently woke her. "Mom, the party's today. Get up." he said. She opened her eyes and got out of bed. Without saying a word, she put on her best outfit, and began to feed Goten. "Gohan-chan, when Goten cries, that means he's hungry. So please, feed him _before _he gives me a head ache." she said.

"Sorry Mom." he said quietly. He ran upstairs to grab his present for Kuririn. While he was out giving his letter to Master Roshi, he found 18 on the streets, and he got her to give him her phone number. He figured that would be a good present for him. He came back downstairs. "Whose phone number is that? What girl have you been talking to?" Chi-chi asked as she put on Goten's outfit.

"No one. I got this from 18. It's Kuririn's birthday present. He has the biggest crush on her." Gohan explained.

"Alright. Well, can we not fly? Can we just take the car?" Chi-chi asked.

"There's no need." Gohan said. He put a hand on his mother, then on Goten. He placed two fingers to his forehead, then they were at Kame House in a flash. He'd picked up that technique, and it had become a habit.

"Goten, don't ever do that." Chi-chi muttered.

"Hey Gohan! Is that your brother? Awww what's his name?" Bulma rambled, taking the baby in her arms.

"Son Goten." Chi-chi answered firmly.

"Awwww. You look just like your father, little guy." she cooed, and the baby smiled.

"Woman! Why have you dragged me to this God-forsaken place?" Vegeta snapped.

"It's a surprise party genius! It's Kuririn's birthday party! Now loosen up and quit taking everything so seriously." she snapped back.

"I'm sorry about him. He's a total jerk."

"Its fine, Bulma." Gohan said, smiling. For the first time in a long time.

"So, what'd you get him?"

"This." Gohan said, and he pulled out Android 18's phone number.

"Oh my gosh, how did you get this?"

"Easy. I found her on the streets."

"Huh. I wonder where she's staying these days."

"She said she had gotten a job as a waitress and she lives in an apartment. But... it's not the nicest of places."

"Let me guess: She lives in the ghetto."

"I guess you could say that."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. It was Tien, Chiaotzu, and Yamcha. Bulma let them in. "Hey Bulma! I brought flowers. Still think that maybe we can..." Yamcha was cut off.

"Save it Yamcha. I'm married now you idiot." she stated coldly. That earned a chuckle out of Tien. Gohan looked up. "Kuririn's coming!" he said. They turned out the lights and hid.

"Hello? Muten Roshi-sama?" he asked.

The lights went on and everyone jumped up and yelled "SURPRISE!" Kuririn chuckled. "Thanks you guys." he said.

"I have a present for you." Gohan said, and he gave him Android 18's phone number.

"Gohan! This is awesome! How'd you get this?"

"By coincidence actually. I found her walking on the street."

"Huh. Thanks! After all, you _are_ the one who figured it out first."

Gohan laughed. And his happiness lit up the whole room, causing laughter to fill up the room. Gohan's face glowed with joy. Perhaps, this was a step toward recovery.

"Yeah. It feels strange, laughing without Goku here." Yamcha said.

Right when Gohan seemed happy, he felt heaviness upon him. He blinked tears away. But he wasn't upset. He was angry. At least, he thought.

"Oh, Gohan I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were still sensitive about that." Yamcha apologized.

"I'm not sensitive about it!" he snapped. Realizing that he'd said it louder than he intended, he ran outside. The calm waters soaked through his shoes. The moonlight spilled onto the ocean. Kuririn walked outside.

"Alright, spill it. Why are you behaving this way? When you were on the Lookout, you were over it. Now everyone's moving forward. Why can't you?" he asked.

Gohan sighed. He let tears spill out of his eyes. "I-I don't know. I just feel like... he abandoned us. I feel like he was a coward. I was angry with him. But at the same time, I miss him. I get upset every time I think of him. I don't know how to feel." he said, sobs breaking in between sentences.

"Gohan, look: There's no reason to be angry with him. He didn't abandon you or Goten or your mother. He loved you guys with all his heart. He left f or the sake of the Earth, not to abandon you." Kuririn reassured.

"Lies! All of it! He knew this is how it would turn out!"

"It's not a lie! It's the truth. Gohan, has your father ever lied to you? Ever?"

"Well... no."

"Exactly. So why would he start now? And, it's okay to miss him. But Gohan, you have to pull yourself out of this. It's what he would have wanted." Kuririn explained reassuringly.

"But... how?"

"Well, first things first, you gotta quit thinking about the Cell games."

"How do I forget something that huge?"

"Hmm... that's it! Maybe you need to just let it all out!"

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe you just need to let the feelings you've had bottled up inside free!" Kuririn exclaimed.

"You think so?" he asked, his face lifting.

"Trust me, I know so. You need to let it out. You need a wide open space where you can just let your emotions explode." Kuririn explained.

"Alright. I'll give it a shot. Thanks Kuririn. Sorry you had to help me on your birthday." Gohan said, feeling guilty that he was hogging all of the attention.

"Gohan, it's no problem. Besides, I owe you after giving me Android 18's phone number. The least I could do is help you out." he said, smiling. Gohan chuckled.

"Ready to go back in?"

"Yeah."

That night, the party went well. Everyone was having fun, even Vegeta. Roshi got drunk, and got a bit carried away and started to grope Bulma and Chi-chi, which earned him plenty of smacks. The house was filled with a bright happiness. The room was bright and cheery, abundant with laughter and smiles. It was as if Goku was in the house, laughing right along with everyone. After the night of joy was over, everyone headed home. Gohan put Goten to bed. "Goten, I was wrong. I was wrong to be angry with our father. But, no matter what, I'll still play the role of father for you. At least, until he comes back." Gohan told him.

"Goodnight Daddy." Goten said as he yawned.

"Not really. But for now, yes. Goodnight, Goten." he said as he shut his door and decided to get some sleep himself.

**A/N: Okay so, I'm almost done. The next chapter is the last. :( But my next one will be funny. I'm not going to spoil it though. Anyways, reviews are accepted and appreciated!**

**~dbzforever21**


	7. Epilogue

**A/N: This chapter is going to be much shorter. So, this is the last chapter. I had fun writing this story. I always wondered how Gohan felt during the seven year time skip, and I thought it'd be a good fanfic idea. So anyway, here we go! Last chapter!**

Epilogue

Gohan walked to the spot where the Cell Games took place. Dust covered the arena. He closed his eyes. And, without hesitation, let tears spill from his eyes. However, he smiled. "I'm letting you go. The only reason I've felt this way was because I've latched onto you. But I'm going to move forward. Thank you, for everything. You've truly been the hero and role model in my life. I apologize for getting so angry and writing such a nasty letter. You know I really didn't mean it. I was blinded. Blinded by the truth that I refused to believe. Goodbye, father. I know I'll see you again. And, most importantly, I love you." he said out-loud. He looked down to find that his shirt was soaked with tears. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see his father standing next to him, smiling down on him. He didn't speak. Gohan could hear everything he was thinking. And what he heard, made him smile. _"I love you too, son."_

SEVEN YEARS LATER...

There he stood. After seven years, Son Goku had finally returned. He was happy to see everyone, but he was very excited to see Gohan. He'd grown to his height. Gohan walked up to him, and hugged him tightly."I missed you Dad. I'm sorry." he said, tears lining his eyes.

"I missed you too. A lot Gohan. And, I'm sorry too. But, I'm here now!" he said, lightening the mood. Soon, his attention whirled toward seven year old Goten. "Hi, I'm Goten." he said quietly.

"And I'm Goku. Hey, kiddo." he said, smiling. Goten glared at him. This was all so new. Was this really his father? He felt, deep down, a connection to him. He belonged with his family. "DADDY!" he cried, jumping into his father's arms. Goku laughed as he picked up his son. Gohan watched with happiness. This is how it was supposed to be. This is how it should be.

**A/N: Yup, that's it! I hope you people enjoyed it. At certain times, I actually wanted to cry while writing. Oh jeese. Anyway, reviews are accepted and appreciated!**

**~dbzforever21**


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